Hoosier Lawyer

SAINTS' ALIVE - CONTINUANCE GRANTED

You gotta hand it to New Orleans.  Even with all the trauma that city is dealing with every day, it still has kept that essential quality that makes it different.

For 40 years of futility, New Orleans has stood by and cheered its beloved Saints.  But Sunday, for the first time in the team's history,  The Saints are playing for the NFC Championship.  And everyone knows that after the game, all of New Orleans is either going to be parading down Bourbon Street with to-go cups in hand, or drowning its collective sorrows in a vat of Abita Amber.

Either way,  Orleans Parish Civil District Judge Ernest L. Jones has recognized that nobody in the Big Easy is going to feel like sitting in trial for a couple of days.  So he granted a recent motion for continuance on the grounds of "party aftermath."

Judge Jones was scheduled to preside over a   trial scheduled to start on the day after the Bears-Saints game.    But the defense moved to delay the trial for two days "in order to accommodate all fans, including the great majority of the jury pool, the parties involved in this case and the counsel involved in this case."

Guess the motion sounded better than "Judge, we're all gonna be hung over."

GEAUX SAINTS ! ! !

BUSH SNEAKS TWO EXTRA JUSTICES ON TO U.S. SUPREME COURT

President Bush, who has already named two justices to the Supreme Court, has apparantly sneaked two more justice onto the Court while no one was looking.  Supreme Court observers are perplexed at how the two new Justices got on to the Court with no one looking.

The story was broken in the September 8 issue of the Indianapolis Star concerning the oral argument in the Seventh Circuit on the issue of the opening prayer in the Indiana General Assembly.  In discussing a leading U.S. Supreme Court case, the always-reliable Star reported:

"In Marsh v. Chambers, the U.S. Supreme Court decided 8-3 that prayers may be said as part of the Nebraska Legislature's official actions after references to Christ had been removed."

Yep, that's what they reported.  Last time I looked,   8 plus 3 equals 11.   

A NAME CAN SAY IT ALL

After a summer hiatus of working on my practice, I'm back to blogging.

Sometimes you wonder what people were thinking when they formed an organization and decided to go by the initials.  I was just doing some research in a auto accident case, and came accross the following in a Montana case. 

"According to the standards of the American Society of State Highway Officials (ASSHO) construction of inslopes on that scale is in accordance with good engineering practice."
Modrell v. State, 587 P.2d 405 (1978)

Never been to the organization's meetings, but I've met a few of its members. 

By the way, since then the organization has changed its name to the more familiar American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials (AASHTO).  Wonder why?

And They Call This "CIVIL" Litigation?

They call this "civil" litigation?  Civil war is more like it.

A portion of a video from a Texas deposition is making its way around the internet.  It defies description.  And remember, in Texas people can, and do, carry concealed firearms.

Take a look and listen.  Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e12sqYYLJxA

All I can say is that if I ever take a deposition in Texas, I'm hiring Harry Glick, the lawyer who "fights for you" as my local counsel.  Take a look at ol' Harry's website and you'll know why!  Here's the link:  http://www.harryglick.com/martial.htm

Texas Bankruptcy Judge Denies Motion Because Lawyer "Is An Idiot"

Life imitated art recently, as a Texas Bankruptcy judge in denying a motion as "incomprehensible"  cited Adam Sandler's movie "Billy Madison" in a footnote.  The February 6, 2006 ruling is reported in The Smoking Gun

Judge Leif Clark titled his ruling "Order Denying Motion For Incomprehensibility."  After briefly noting the history of the case, Judge Clark stated:  "The court cannot determine the substance, if any, of Defendant's legal argument, nor can the court even ascertain the relief that Defendant is requesting." 

To add emphasis to his disdain, Judge Clark's footnote quotes the following from the movie Billy Madison:

Mr Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard.  At o point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that even could be considered a rational thought.  Everyone in this room is now dummer for having listened to it.  I award you no points, and God have mercy on your soul.

Note to counsel:  don't file a motion to reconsider.

Typos -- A Void At All Costs

Typos – those hated little gremlins that seem to hide in our motions and briefs – until after they are filed.  Then they seem to stand out as if printed in red bold face type. (Of course, there are worse things than typos in a motion -- click on photo above for larger view).

Typos were a recent topic on the Solosez listserve – the ABA’s e-mail list of solo and small firm lawyers.  Here are some of the real life examples that, like watching “America’s Funniest Videos”, make us laugh and cringe at the same time.

Attorney’s Affidavit states:  "The defendant has been damaged substantially and momentarily by the aforesaid conduct of the plaintiff . . . ."

Complaint which asserted that the Plaintiff  was injured while in the "curse and scope of her employment."

A divorce pleading which accused the wife of an affair with her neighbor while the husband was working from  "dawn until dust!"

A brief which intended to refer to  "the compilation of the evidence" came back from a young secretary as "the copulation of the evidence"

An interrogatory seeking information as to:  "What is your average weekly rage?"

And finally, a lawyer’s thank you note which concluded: "Thank you for sending the cookies.  They were enjoyed by Al."

HEARSAY ROCKS ! ! !

Hearsay -- the most troubling rule in all of evidence. 

For all of us who grew up with School House Rock, here are the exceptions to the Hearsay Rule explained so we all can understand them -- and set to music!

Just CLICK HERE!

More on the Funny Side of Living Wills

Bad taste and humor know no bounds.  The media circus around the Terry Schiavo matter first spawned The Onion's Guide to Preparing a Living Will.  Now there's this Alternative Living Will.

Preparing a Living Will

The demand for living wills has skyrocketed in the wake of the Terry Schiavo matter.  It was only a matter of time before the often irreverant, always outrageous,  news parody magazine "The Onion" has published its Guide to Preparing Your Living Will. 

The directions start out with the following:

"It's important to have a lawyer present when you draft a living will, as it makes the desire to be dead that much more tangible."